The Challenges of Recalling The Past
Diana M. Raab -- February 7, 2007
Memory is fallible, but is one of the strongest frustrations and the most poignant tool of the memoir writer.
I believe that in many ways, memory is an aspect of imagination and for this reason for my graduate work in writing I studied the relationship between memory and imagination. One thing I learned from my research was how, as times goes on, our memories tend to become distorted and this might have been apparent during the holidays while sitting around with friends and family discussing events from the past.
During my studies, I carefully read Mary McCarthy's powerful memoir, Memoirs of a Catholic Childhood. In her introduction she questions her own childhood and whether some of the incidents she remembers really happened or if she actually made them up.
McCarthy's parents died when she was quite young. She and her siblings were farmed out to various family members. As a result, each of them held onto different memories of their childhood. and the collective memory of the family became shattered and broken. There was nobody for McCarthy to validate her memories with.
While writing her memoir, McCarthy admitted having the problem akin to most memoirists -- not only do we tend to forget certain elements of our pasts, but those memories have a tendency to become distorted as time goes on. Studies in this area have shown that memory, through imagination, can impose a value beyond that of the actual experience. For this reason, many writers of fiction and nonfiction use their imagination to fill in the blanks discovered during their writing process.
Since the surfacing of the James Frey controversy, nonfiction writers are more than ever hesitant and fearful to embellish their stories when they find themselves stumbled upon a memory gap. Other than using medications to artificially improve memory, I've suggested some memory-triggering tips to my students.
The first thing I might suggest is to take a new piece of paper and on the top of the page write, "I remember." I tell my students to keep writing until they have nothing else to say. The idea is to then write the first thoughts which pass through your mind. After filling up a few pages, I suggest starting a new page with, "I do not remember." It's amazing how many ideas can be generated and captured from this easy exercise.
Other methods to trigger the recall of memory include: Writing around what you've forgotten. This is a way for the missing link to unexpectedly come to you, through the act of writing. Photographs may also be used to trigger memories. I've used this technique when crafting my own memoir, Regina's Closet: A Granddaughter Discovers Her Grandmother's Journal, (forthcoming in the fall of 2007), when trying to recall the details of our relationship and the sorts of things we enjoyed doing together before she committed suicide in the room beside mine when I was ten years old.
While reflecting upon and writing about my own childhood under my grandmother's care, I was lucky to have family photo albums as a reference. My father had been inspired to compile the photos just months before his death in December 1991. The photos served as powerful memory-triggers of all the wonderful times spent with my grandmother and how just before entering kindergarten, she taught me how to type on her Remington typewriter just. Little did she know that that seemingly benign gesture sparked the young writer in me, and ended up being my life's passion.
Another way to jog memory or to create a vision of the past is to find generic photographs from the period you're writing about. For example, when writing about my grandmother's boat journal from Europe in 1939, I downloaded some ship photos from that year and stared at them trying to imagine my grandparents as one of its inhabitants.
Music also triggers memories. A writing colleague of mine plays music from the time period he's writing about. Once when working on an essay about Woodstock I pulled out a CD of Janis Joplin music interspersed with the Beatles song, "Let it Be," which I also associate with that time period.
Another good way to jog your memory is to isolate one memory fragment. You can do this by thinking of a person you remember, and imagining his or her personality during the period in your life in which you are writing about.
One of my favorite pieces of writing on the subject of memory is Patricia Hampl's essay, "Memory and Imagination." I've read it so many times and each time I find myself learning more. Hampl believes that memoir needs to be written because each of us have a created version of the past and what is remembered of that version becomes reality.
She says, "We only store in memory images of value. The value maybe lost over the passage of time... over time, the value (the feeling) and the stored memory (the image) may become estranged. Memoir, she says seeks a permanent home for feeling an image, a habitation where they can live together in harmony."
Lately, there's been more and more research on memory and imagination -- even before the James Frey issue hit the newsstands. It's a timely subject, but one which I feel will never go away or go out of style, well not as long as there are writers, and as long as there are people who age. The way I see it is that these are two timeless elements!